Tom Brady Survives Minor Car Accident To Sign New Contract With Pats

Added on Sep 10, 2010 by Jason Kearney in

NFL

Yesterday we reported on how the entire Boston area was at a standstill after learning that Tom Brady had been in a minor fender bender. But who are we kidding? These are people that went into full panic mode over a viral ad campaign for the Cartoon Network’s ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’ thinking it was a ‘terrorist bombing plot’. Not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. The good news is that the Patriots were so relieved that Brady had survived his harrowing minor car accident with no damage to his handsome face that they decided to tear up his old contract and make him the highest paid quarterback in the NFL.

Actually, the deal has been in the works all along but it’s now been finalized. Brady gets a four year extension on the end of his current deal worth $72 million and with $48.5 million guaranteed. He’s now the highest paid player in the league on a per year salary basis. Here’s what team owner Robert Kraft had to say:

“We’ve gone about our business in a diligent manner with very complicated, difficult labor environment. We’ve been able to secure Brady, Vince Wilfork, [Stephen] Gostkowski, [Leigh] Bodden, Tully Banta-Cain, people who have come here, worked hard and want to be here long term. We’ve done everything we can do. “

“While our job is never done. I sort of like this team over the next few years. We have a great coach, and one of the finest quarterbacks to have ever played the game for another five seasons.”

Last week Brady said that he wouldn’t want to play football anywhere else:

“I really love being here and playing for Mr. [Robert] Kraft and Jonathan [Kraft]. Our relationship isn’t based on how much money he pays me. ‘I’m great when he pays me what I want, and I hate him when … .’ I mean, that’s not the way relationships work.

“I’ve had friends like that in the past. That’s not the type of friends you want. It’s very unconditional — the relationship I have with coach [Bill] Belichick and the whole organization. I’m blessed to play here and I love playing here. I think we’re all fortunate to play for a team that’s committed to winning. If that’s the goal for all of us, if you want to win, you really appreciate where you’re at.”

That didn’t stop the Hub fans’ favorite Patriot, Wes Welker (‘that Welkah! He’s a gamah!’) from cracking wise:

“He enjoys getting razzed and things like that. I think there’s got to be people that kind of bring him back down to earth every once in awhile because his life is just extraordinary sometimes. It’s fun to mess with him. There are too many rookie skits I think I could come up with for the guy.

“He’s still the same Tom to us, so we’re still going to razz him and really just give him a hard time about all the money he’s made and things like that, tell him to dress better a certain day. Sometimes he slacks in that area. A lot of people don’t see it, but he does.”

LOL! Good one Welkah! Brady is insanely rich! He’s good looking! He’s got a supermodel wife! Way to give him the business! That’ll bring him back down to earth. Next time throw in that he’s really well hung. That’ll really bust his balls! You’re a regular Don Rickles, Welkah!

If you’re going to make fun of Brady, you should start with the fact that he’s taken a picture holding a goat. Jokes practically write themselves from that point.