Cops Find Stiff Floating In Pool Of Texans’ Smith
Added on Sep 04, 2011 by Jack Thurman in
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Talk about a tough maintenance job for the swimming pool cleaner–Houston area cops were dispatched to the home of Texans’ defensive end Antonio Smith to fish a stiff out of his swimming pool. More specifically, it was the bloated and lifeless body of one Engram Lamar Crenshaw. Crenshaw is a 37 year old gravy trainer who police described as a ‘personal friend’ of Smith.
Exactly how Crenshaw met his watery demise is still unclear, but there he was floating like a beached whale in the swimming pool behind Smith’s ranch style home in suburban Richmond, Texas. And it was clear that Crenshaw wasn’t there to do a few laps before turning in–my man was fully dressed which suggests that there’s likely an ugly backstory to his final few hours before shedding ‘this mortal coil’ in the shallow end of Smith’s pool. Or, as a spokesman for the Houston constabulary puts it:
“He was not dressed to be swimming in the pool, I can say that.”
About 100 people showed up for the usual faux-gangsta frivolity at Smith’s crib including several Texans’ players. Crenshaw was last seen by his motley crew of friends about 2 AM. Smith and company quickly got their story straight to distance themselves from the drowning and since pro athletes are ‘above the law’ in this part of Texas the cops did their part to sell the narrative:
“Apparently, he stayed out there by himself. In the morning, when people woke up and went outside, they discovered him in the pool.”
Either that or he was helped into the pool by someone. Of course since its the life of a relative nobody against the word of a NFL player you know how this one will shake out.
Police are going through the motions of making it look like a legit investigation, scheduling an autopsy and toxicology report. You can bet it’ll come back that Crenshaw was three sheets to the wind, likely stoned on ‘da chronic’ and the book will be closed on his life.
Texans’ GM Rick Smith all but said he could care less with this statement:
“We are aware of the situation. We are gathering facts and have no further comment at this time.”
And lest you doubt that this sordid affair will be swept under the rug, here’s police spokesman James Burger doing his best ‘these aren’t the droids you’re looking for’ routine:
“It doesn’t appear that there’s been any crime here.”
All the while a bloated, disfigured body lies rotting in the Houston morgue.
